Zombies Taxes and Guarantee Rent

So, the IRS (shut down or not) imposes taxes on all peoples’ income the United States. But the real problem we have here is that the IRS will be missing a huge tax base when the Zombie Apocalypse comes. WHAT??? Well…. Think about it. As a tax-payer, the Code defines “taxpayer” as “any person subject to any internal revenue tax”, and it defines “person” to “include an individual, a trust, estate, partnership . . . or corporation.”

Are zombies taxpayers under this definition? As with the question of whether zombies are decedents, the answer to this important question may depend on the type of zombie involved. Well if you want to delve into the topic and indulge yourself further, there’s a 25 page paper (yeah, seriously…. 25 pages on the topic) written by Adam Chodorow, Law professor at Arizona State University, entitled  Death and Zombies and Taxes

As the paper explores…. Since Zombies (Oh, and the paper explores all kinds of other types of “beings”) are really dead, they aren’t really “persons”. And, as such…  and they don’t have to pay taxes, SO… how is the IRS going to get their cut? Maybe congress should consider changing the tax code? Think about it, if we had a bunch of Zombie Landlords running around out there… Even if they start to claiming that nice “passive income” the IRS couldn’t touch it! Zombies aren’t people. Read the paper for yourself…..  It would not be good, Congress! You’d better get your act together! I know you have seemingly big fish to fry with this Obamacare website not working, but you havent given any thought to the Zombie Apocalypse, and the tax code changes that need to be made right now!

I don’t know about you, but as I start to prepare for the end of the year and get ready to send my tax file over to my CPA for the end of the year tax “stuff” this is the kind of stuff I have to worry about! Zombies paying their fair share of taxes. You know, I just don’t have that much to worry about these days… I have all my properties managed professionally with Real Property Management, and I also just enrolled in the NEW Rent Guarantee Program, so I’m GUARANTEED to get my rent on time every month. Oh, I’ll still have to claim it as income… but even if my tenants don’t pay, I get paid. But even the Zombies can’t get my rent money.